Self-Care May Look Different for Caregivers
Caregiving is challenging! Whether it be the long list of roles and responsibilities or navigating challenging conversations, most anyone would feel overwhelmed. Compassion fatigue is common. What is compassion fatigue? The American Institute of Stress defines compassion fatigue as “the emotional residue or strain of exposure to working with those suffering from the consequences of traumatic events.” This means that people can experience trauma from trying to care for loved ones as we identify with their pain and suffering.
Compassion fatigue can make you feel like you have lost a piece of yourself when caregiving; when someone is experiencing compassion fatigue, most jump to suggesting self-care! Don’t get me wrong, self-care is essential, but our society often paints this as a trip to the spa or a bubble bath, but a bubble bath may not change the highly stressful role a caregiver plays.
There’s nothing wrong with taking a bath or booking a trip to get a massage; however, it may be more beneficial to change the way we talk to ourselves. Grief is intertwined with this role, so it is common for caregivers to feel shame, guilt, or blame themselves as their loved one goes through the end-of-life care process. Using more positive language and being compassionate with ourselves can help us recharge and experience higher levels of resiliency.
Second, balance is critical. If you feel burnt out, taking some time off is okay. I know this is not an option for everyone, but if it is for any of you, we highly encourage you to make time for yourselves.
So how do we come back to ourselves during this challenging time? We have compiled a few ways to reset and work on feeling like ourselves again.
Mindful Awareness
Mindful awareness is paying attention to how we are thinking and treating ourselves. This may look like being engaged in an intense or difficult conversation while not consumed by grief or stress. The goal is to become more mindful of our thoughts during stressful moments, noticing if we are cleaning our jaw or scrunching our shoulders. Taking a minute to breathe and relax can also be a great way to practice mindfulness. We hold stress in our bodies, so doing a breathing exercise and centering ourselves can help us to relax and reset.
Reflective Practice
Next, we can look back through a compassionate lens and think about what went well and how things could have gone. Reflective practice is learning how to combine action and learning effectively. It allows you to be more aware and have more understanding. The following skills are an important part of reflective practice:
- Analytical abilities: observing difficult circumstances with an open mind, responding calmly rather than spiraling.
- Self-Awareness: how do our past experiences, beliefs, and perspective influences how we show up in the lives of our loved ones, respond to challenging moments, etc.
- Critical Thinking: what may impact the way family, friends, and members of the care team respond.
- Communication: How do we share our reflections with others; when done correctly, this can be a powerful way to connect with others as well as reduce adverse reactions from others
It is important to remember that we can use this skill to understand better and anticipate how others respond. However, the way they respond is out of our control.
At Brighton, our care team strives to support you through these difficult times and situations. Our goal is to help you process your grief and be there to support you in any way we can. Please get in touch with our bereavement team at brightonbereavementsupport@brightonhospice.com if you are interested in one of our support groups.
