You may not be a caregiver yourself. But chances are, sooner or later, you will be—or you already know someone who is. Perhaps it’s a friend, a neighbor, someone you work with, a church member, or a member of a support group. If you have ever talked with them, you may have heard the exhaustion in their voice and seen the strain in their eyes.
Caregivers are often praised for their selflessness and dedication. However, there is a dark side to that selflessness: neglecting their own health. This isn’t just about skipping bubble baths or yoga. It’s about ignoring serious medical needs—needs that can’t afford to wait.
Some caregivers put off preventive care, such as routine blood work. Others delay necessary treatments, tests, or even surgeries. They know these things are important, but they tell themselves:
- “I don’t have time.”
- “Who will take care of my loved one while I recover?”
- “I can’t afford to be out of commission.”
- “What if it’s something bad? I’m not able to deal with it right now.”
The Consequences of Ignoring One’s Own Medical Care
Let’s be honest—there are real consequences when caregivers don’t tend to their own medical needs!
- Worsening Health
A small medical issue left untreated can become a more serious one. Delaying surgery, ignoring pain, or skipping labs can mean a faster decline in one’s health and well-being.
- Reduced Ability to Care
If one’s energy is drained or if they are dealing with untreated symptoms, their ability to care for anothr suffers. A family caregiver can’t pour from an empty cup.
- Emotional Toll
Putting off care leads to anxiety, guilt, and fear as well as second-guessing oneself. All of this adds mental weight to an already heavy load.
- Financial Strain (Now or Later)
Waiting too long might lead to more costly or complicated care in the future. While medical bills are daunting, worsening health can come at an even bigger price.
Ignoring one’s health rarely makes it go away, but only delays the inevitable. Sometimes medical issues, left untreated, can make things more severe and harder to treat or cure. NOW….go look in the mirror! Is this family caregiver YOU?
Why Do Caregivers Wait?
- There’s no time—especially for caregivers with 24/7 responsibilities.
- There’s fear—of bad news, of surgeries, of losing independence.
- There’s guilt—worrying how the care receiver will cope during their absence.
- There’s hopeful denial—”Maybe the issue will stabilize” or “It’s probably nothing.”
What Can You Do About It?
- Acknowledge that your needs are valid.
One’s health matters. You are not being selfish by seeking care—you are being responsible. - Ask for Help.
Whether it’s a family member, a friend, or respite services, build a backup plan for caregiving coverage during care receiver appointments or recovery. - Use Support Networks.
Tap into local resources, support groups, or faith communities. You are not alone, even if it feels that way. - Talk to a Doctor Honestly.
Let your health care providers know that you are a caregiver. Many providers understand the challenges and may help you prioritize or pace their care. - Start Small.
If a big procedure feels overwhelming, start with a lab test or a checkup. One step forward is still progress. - Breathe.
Deep breathing is proven to help put oxygen in your blood, relieve tension, and other health benefits.
Self-Care Activities for Caregivers
It’s important to take time to care for your own body, mind and spirit. Here are a few self-care tips, simple practices and smartphone apps that can make it easier to work self-care for caregivers into your everyday routine.
Physical Care
- Your body needs enough water to hydrate and function properly. Plant Nanny is an easy way to remind yourself to get enough to drink.
- If you need help finding healthier recipes or planning better-for-you meals and snacks, try Allrecipes Dinner Spinner or Yummly. They have large, searchable databases to make it easy to nourish your body.
- Stretching increases blood flow to your muscles, can prevent back pain, and relaxes your muscles, which encourages overall stress relief.
- You can find apps to help you do yoga and plenty of other types of exercise that fit your level of ability and interest. You can also create a playlist on your phone and go for a walk around the block.
Mental Care
Emotional Care
- Lift your spirits and practice the art of happiness with Happify. Activities, games and quizzes help you manage stress, reorient negative thoughts and feel better about life.
- Repeat positive self-affirmations. There’s scientific evidence that repeating simple, positive phrases can counteract pessimistic thoughts and create healthier habits.
- If you’re struggling with the emotional roller coaster that comes with caregiving, and you can’t get out to see a therapist, Talkspace could be helpful. Users get matched with a licensed therapist based on their needs. Once you choose a payment plan, you can send messages to your therapist to start working things through.
- If you find solace in religion, attend a service. Regular attendance has been linked to improvements in mental health.
- Pursue your passions. Ultimately, one of the best things you can do to avoid caregiver burnout is to carve out time to recharge and relax.
You can also check out a full list of our best caregiver apps.
It’s not just OK for you to make yourself a priority — it’s imperative. You’re the only “you” there is. By taking better care of yourself — caring for the caregiver — you’ll be able to take better care of your parent. And you’ll have a happier, healthier life while you’re doing it.
Start with one small change. What will you do to practice self-care? Write down one of these self-care tips and post it on the mirror or your desk as a daily reminder.
You don’t have to fall apart to prove you’re a good caregiver. Taking care of yourself is part of taking care of your care receiver. Your body and mind deserve the same compassion you give to your loved one. If something were to happen to you, who would be there to take your place?
By Zanda Hilger, LPC, Founder, Family Caregiver & Program Manager for Family Caregivers Online
Sources: Where You Live Matters
We hope this information is helpful to you in the important work you do as a family caregiver.
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